Tuesday, April 5, 2011

What a day.

Today I need to blog just to get the last 20 some-odd hours out of my head and into the head of others. Last night I had a mini breakdown. I was experienceing one of those "I'm too mentally exhausted to eat healthy or do anything else that I know is good for me that takes any sort of effort." In response to my moms encouraging words, I dragged my pitiful self into bed and grabbed the book she sent me, "Trusting God. Even when life hurts". I started reading it and instantly started feeling like less of the world was on my shoulders. I went to bed thinking that maybe I would be ok if I just got some good sleep.

Then the craziness started. TJ came home and decided to start some pork in the crock pot overnight. He wanted to check on it during the night a few times, so he set some alarms on his phone. I woke up to cody doing cody things... like waltzing around, hitting the blinds to go out, and trying to get comfy on the bed. I can't remember which was first, because he did all those things several times in the course of the night. As soon as I started to fall back asleep, TJ's alarm went off. He turned it off quickly because he was already up but it still buzzed longer than I would have liked. A minute later I was drifting back into sleep when TJ's fork hit the side of the crockpot, sending all 3 dogs into a frenzy, jumping up and off the bed pulling off my blanket and waking me with a start. I finally fell back asleep but awoke not much later to the smell of urine. OH NO.. did one of the dogs pee on my pillow? I smelled my pillow, my blanket, all before realizing the pee smell was the pork. Apparently, cooking pork with vinegar and various other spices is not a very appetizing aroma. I woke up on and off for the rest of the night to the smell of urine and to either Cody moving around, or all three dogs simultaneously jumping up and running to the kitchen hoping to score some pee pork.

Finally things settled down....and the next thing I know my alarm is going off to get up for work. "Crap!" Snooze. 5 minutes later... "Crap! Why is it so dark out?" Dismiss. 15 minutes later I woke up on my own, realizing I fell back asleep and could have been majorly late for work. I now had no time to shower. I brushed my teeth, put on deoderant, grabbed a home-made meal bar from the freezer and stood in front of the Keurig trying to will it to go faster. (I'm so spoiled... "go faster Keurig!") I grabbed my travel mug as soon as it was done brewing, put on the lid and went out the door. When I got to the end of my driveway I saw the neighbors dogs walking down the road, as if they chased his car as he left for work. Hmm... Brian doesn't usually leave for work the same time I do... he must have been running late today. Need.Caffeine. I take a big gulp of coffee before realizing it was boiling hot and burning everything from my teeth to my tonsils. ( full disclosure... I had my tonsils out in 4th grade, but if I had them they would have been boiled to death today anyways). I turned on some music and just tried to relax to some Depeche Mode.

A few minutes later, I drove by a school. I thought "why are the lights not flashing? am I running late? Then I noticed there weren't many cars in the lot and I thought "maybe it's an in-service day or they are having their spring break later than most other people" I drive on.

I'm almost to kellys house and that's when the last clue finally breaks through my cluelessness. I see a schoolbus on the street, and bryce running down the driveway to get on. I'M AN HOUR EARLY. That's why it was dark when I got up, why the neighbor dogs were in the street, and why the school zone lights weren't flashing. How could I be so dumb? After an already horrible night, I cheated myself out of a full hour of sleep. Luckily, I work for great, flexible people. I called her as I pull into the driveway and she laughed and told me to come on in. I took a big breath and sighed as I turned off the car. I started to walk toward the back door and thought 'what a crazy day already', and then I walked my tired face right into a spiderweb.

UPDATE: I should have known the day was not over. I had a good evening with a couple of friends discussing all things crafts. Afterwards I got chicken fried rice from my favorite japanese place and headed home. I was in the middle of eating it when I remembered I left the dogs out and they probably wanted in. As soon as I was settled back into my seat and with chopsticks lifted I smelled something RANK. I couldn't put my finger on it but it smelled like a barn. A barn... hmm... and that is when I remembered I let my neighbor put his horse in our yard to eat our grass. That is also when I remembered my dogs love of eating and rolling around in poo (and dead things, like birds). Upon closer optical and smellical observation I saw horse poop smeared and dried in Stewards fur, and olive smelled like what I would imagine a dung beetle would. Anyways... two emergency baths and a tub scrub down later, and I was back on the couch calling TJ and telling him to tell our neighbor, "Sorry, but you can't put your horse in our fence anymore. Our dogs are to horse poop, as Scrooge McDuck is to piles of money."

UPDATE UPDATE: As I was writing the previous update, tj came to me with his pork/apple chutney creation to try. I tried a bite and it wasn't as bad as I thought it would be. Good Job TJ! I might actually have a sandwich! I headed over to FB and started posting that I editted my blog and at that exact moment I heard a sound that strikes dread into my heart. Gagging, vomitting dog. I look over and Cody is by the back door throwing up, but his head is obscured by the couch. I yelled to TJ to take Cody outside. He ran over and said "what IS that? Oh my gosh it's horse po.. RETCH. RETCH RETCH RETCH..." This is when he ran to the bathroom. I started hysterically laughing while running to get plastic bags and paper towels. While getting the paper towels it finally hit me and now we were both gagging violently. TJ eventually went outside to look in the yard for more horse stuff, and I cleaned up the horse manure vomit. I haven't even had my coffee yet.