Thursday, June 11, 2009

Don't say I'm not prepared.

People are always telling me 'just wait till you have kids, you won't sleep, they smell bad, they're bad, etc' I'm always telling people, I have 3 dogs.. I have an idea. Here is my argument for that statement.

It started out on tuesday. Work was hard and long. I was there from 9am till 7pm and we were b-u-s-y. I went straight to the gym and did 60 minutes on the eliptical and spent 10 minutes basking in the not-so-sun UV. I had visions of hot showers and cuddly fleece all the way home, and by the time I pulled in the driveway I could hardly think of anything else... until I walked in the house. What is that smell? Is it a gas leak? If I turn on the burner will the house explode? These are the thoughts I had as I was walking to open the door to the room the dog cage is in. I turned the handle and pushed and was instantly smacked in the face by a smell so rank my nose hairs shriveled up and became nonexistant. One quick glimpse and I saw 3 dogs stomping (or should I say splashing?) and whining in numerous puddles of crap. I quickly cleared a path from the cage to the back door, pushing aside all throw rugs and furniture. I ran the dogs outside and came back inside and formulated a plan. Blanket-trash, rubber mat-patio, cage-disassembled and put on the patio. I gathered supplies... trash bags, rubber gloves, cleaner. Soon after starting the clean-up I realized what I was REALLY dealing with. One dog must have went number 2, and the other dogs must have promptly ingested said #2 and then threw it up. everywhere. I'm talking piles of crap vomit the size of dinner plates. Let me wrap this up by saying it took almost 3 hours, two trash bags, 3 pairs of gloves and almost a whole roll of paper towels to clean it up and bathe all three dogs. (did i mention it was crusted in their fur?). When it was all finished I finally got my shower. I fell asleep around 1am that night.... with wet hair and a hint of pooh in the air.

Wednesday, day begins. Work was worse, and just as long. I got out at 7 and saw a text from tj that said 'i'm home' I called and one of the first things out of his mouth is 'we're even'. Apparently Cody had bloody diarrhea all over. So we went through another roll of paper towels and the dogs got their second bath in two days. His diarrhea continued so we slept on the couch all night so we could better hear when he needed to go out. And he did. Need to go out. A lot. About 25 minutes before my alarm was to go off he was standing at the door, tapping the handle with his nose. I was bringing them back in when they all stepped in HUGE thing of mud. I didn't open the door to the house right away, trying to ask tj for a towel and they all took off running to the neighbors house. I broke down. I plopped on the couch face first and TJ got his shoes on and went in pursuit of the little idiots.

Needless to say, tj put the whole dog cage on a tarp today before he left for work.

Did I mention Olive is in heat?

Saturday, June 6, 2009


The saying:
"time flies when you're having fun"

(And like-wise, it drags when you're not.)

Application: How can I describe a day in my life? Have you ever been in a car with a teenager just learning to drive? Too much gas, slam on the breaks... too much gas, slam on the breaks. Time feels jerky, one minute it's flying a mile a minute, and the next it's slammed to a near stop, and always at the most agonizing moments.

The saying
"life isn't fair"

Application: The time I spend with my friends and TJ seem so short proportionate to the time I spend at work. How is that fair? Here is my most calculated response to that.... BOOOOO!! (thumbs and eyebrows down!)

The saying (sortof):
"..everybody's workin for the weekend!"

Application: My weekdays consist of work, the gym (one of the bright spots) and a few sleepy minutes talking to tj when he gets home from work. I count down the days... I get so excited for friday night so I can stay up late and be able to sleep in the next day. But the reality that always happens is, mon-thurs night I can't fall asleep and end up getting >7 hrs of sleep, and then friday night I can't keep my eyes open to save my..... important news break. Please see below.

Breaking news
I just looked at the clock and realized it's 2pm on saturday and I'm still in my pajamas. Yes, this is sad. TJ will be home soon and this must be remedied. Please stay tuned for the exiting news of my exercise/dieting routine that is soon to come. Don't touch that mouse.